The first time I sought out therapy happened when kitchen cabinets ordered by our clients did not show up, week after week after week.
We did a project early in the life of our company for a wonderful couple, Harry and Lucy, whose children attended the same child care center our children attended. My clients were very mild-mannered people who both worked in health care.
I had agreed to let them supply the cabinets. What could go wrong, I thought.
I coordinated the order with the cabinet supply company. We worked together to make sure all the bits and pieces were being ordered correctly.
The one problem I experienced is the cabinets did not arrive on time. Over the weeks of calling and stopping by the cabinet supply company, I worked myself into a frenzy, as the job could not proceed without the cabinets. And I had no leverage with the cabinet supply company because I was not the one paying them.
My clients were not upset by the delay, which sort of made the whole situation even more frustrating.
In the meantime I needed help getting some perspective. So I arranged an appointment with a therapist. After talking with the therapist for an hour she gave me the following advice, which I wrote on a Post-it note:
- Reorganize my priorities.
- Fit in exercise.
- Yoga/meditation to slow me down.
- Be positive.
- Nitpick less.
- Takes several months.
That last sentence is such an understatement, as it has taken years and I am still not “done.” Ultimately the cabinets did arrive.
What I got from that experience was a lesson in perspective and the limits of my ability to control things. Over time, I saw other therapists/counselors as I hit other bumps in the road which I could not get over without help.
After all, remodeling myself is the biggest remodeling job I will ever do. Like remodeling a home, often the best work is done with a trained professional assisting.
I have that Post-it note in front of me as I write this. Some plans are just so accurate it doesn’t make sense to throw them away.
