It’s been a rough season for my family. My daughter is a foster mom and for the second time in less than a year, her foster child is going home. She has had this second child since Christmas. We are totally in love with this little man and I feel like a limb is being slowly severed with a dull knife. Ever feel afraid and out of control? If you have breath in your body then I’m sure you have.

Sometimes all the turmoil of our daily lives can come crashing down around us like a tempest wreaking havoc and battering us like ragdolls. Loss comes in all sizes and shapes: loss of a marriage, a parent’s death, loss of a business, or the loss of a child into dangerous waters. What can you do when you are in the storms of intense loss? I propose a deeper swim.

The interesting thing about the ocean is that when the waves and breakers are doing battle on the surface, just below—if you dive deep enough—you will reach an area of calm.

The best way to do battle in business or in life is to rest in a state of calm. Sure, I could wring my hands and grope and grasp for solutions and so could you. I could mope around depressed and discouraged. Don’t get me wrong, we always have a part to play, but when all is said and done and we have done all we can, we rest. Peace and optimism is ultimately a choice. You may feel as if you will drown but you will not. A calm, clear mind always makes better decisions.

Maybe you are in a storm, too. Maybe it’s your personal life or maybe you are swimming in red on your spreadsheets. Business is brutal, life is tough and the only control we have is how deep we will choose to swim. — Kathy Shertzer is office manager at DuKate Remodeling, in Franklin, Ind.